Week Four

To: T. Leoni, Manager, Personnel Department
From: Donald Pryzblo, Manager, Data Processing Department
Subject:Payroll mistakes
Dear Mr. Leoni,
I have been reviewing the “errors” in the computer files.It has come to my attention that the issue with the tickets is not in the copying. It is rather in the original documents. It may have all started with one incorrect document that was copied over and over. We discussed the idea of all the employees comparing their entries against the time sheets. It would take clerics less time to do this since they know what they are looking for. Other employees may not know the errors they should be looking for. I would like to discuss having a training session to avoid this situation again. If all of the employees know what to look out for, this can be avoided in the future.
Thank you for your time,
Donald Pryzblo  


I made several corrections to the initial email. The original document sounded like a personal attack. I also changed the wording to make it sound more professional in comparison to saying my computer operators. This was unprofessional and lacked a company wide approach. I also avoided putting the blame on the clerks. Instead I pointed out that it could have been one mistake that went unnoticed long enough to be copied repetitively. Instead of saying that employees do not have the time to fix clerical errors, I stated that it would take them longer since they do not know what they are looking for. I also purposed a training session to avoid future conflicts. This would ensure that these issues would be handled and avoided in the future. The original email was angry in tone. I send out several memos at my previous workplace and I know that anger will not get anything accomplished. Anger and blame will only cause matters to get worse. Flattery will not get you anywhere either. Being profession and making things even will make the path much easier. Professional correspondence should be forward, but with basically no emotion. If there is emotion, it should be one of courtesy and willingness to move forward. One of my bosses send out an email similar to the original, and it almost cost her dearly. I learned that blame will not get things done, but admitting some fault will get things going in the right direction.

Analyzing a Rhetorical Situation

   In my Juvenile Justice class we were required to read several articles. We would read two opposing views and discuss the value and truth to each of them. Then we would compare them to what we learned in class. All of them were on controversial topics and could lead to heated debates if asked moral and social views, but we always stuck to the facts. Criminal Justice classes try to avoid going into to heated debates about opinions.

 One article we discussed was “The Juvenile Justice System Discriminates Against Minorities.” In this article, William Raspberry tries to encourage the restructuring of the juvenile justice system to be less racist.  He felt moved by other press releases to the extent he too wanted his views to be heard. While his language use is less than desirable, it is pointed toward creating a public outcry. One use of language that stands out was his use of “hitting up relatives to raise bail money.”  His point was to raise awareness that racial disparities still exist in the juvenile system and need to be noted by the community and corrected.  

 His use of facts and statistics are rough and not proven. He points out the difference in white and minority arrest rates and the rates of conviction. This data could be true, yet he does not mention the area of arrest or if the officers were the same.  In the criminal field arresting officers have a lot of leeway. They do not have to arrest unless it is a serious offense. In smaller towns an officer is less likely to arrest a first time offender and even less likely to arrest someone they know.  In larger cities, it is less likely that an officer will know the child personally.  Raspberry does bring valid points to consider and would have the public’s attention, but fails to prove his point to a criminal justice major. There were too many unproven ideas and statistics. 

    Raspberry could have strengthen his argument by stating  what areas the arrests were in and where he received those statistics from. Raspberry otherwise brought valid points to the table and wanted people to really think about the situation. He ended with a situation and a question. This left the audience to rethink the way they generally see things. He opened the  minds of the reader, but left those of us with a criminal justice background doubting his credibility on the subject. When researched one will find that Raspberry has won several awards for his writings and wrote for the Washington Press. I found his writings somewhat lacking a structural backbone, but he mentions another article several times in his piece that was not included in our class assignment. He did getting the class discussion going with his topic and use of examples. Arrests and treatment of two juveniles charged with similar crimes can be much different depending on the state and local authorities. It can also be effected by press coverage of the crimes themselves. He points out two different times that a minority was arrested for a crime similar to a white juvenile and was treated much differently. Overall the article did effectively make those in my class think more deeply on the topic, but it did not paint the clearest picture.

Week One

 Writing opens doors. It can also close them. I am a criminal justice major and writing in a formal setting is the key to success. Writing that is done at school is important to getting good grades. When I worked at my previous job, I proof read memos, subpoenas, depositions, and other law related documents. I often wrote letters to our clientele requesting information or their approval of negotiation offers. I also wrote letters to health care providers and insurance companies. I was expected to know that letters to clients used less legal terms than those to insurance companies. I hope to learn more ways that writing affects the work place in this class. I have already done several memos, letters to businesses, and resumes, yet it does not come naturally to me. I have always struggled with wording in my writing and readers tend to get confused. I hope to grow my knowledge of professional writing and learn more about writing in other areas of study. Criminal Justice writing is based on fact and has no real room for interpretation. There is usually one way to interpret laws and codes. I am a Forensic Science minor, and writing is similar in their area. Science is based on facts and statistics; forensic science is not an exception. Writing creatively has always been hard for me. I hope everyone will bare with me as I learn and grow in my writing over the next few weeks.